Good evening…..Yall here?
Yes?.. okay GREAT.
CAUSE I HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY!
This has been sitting on my spirit and it’s time I speak out on it.
So, Let’s get into this.
I’ve gotten a bunch of comments, DM’s and even been approached about how you guys love the abusive friendship I have with my friends and how cool they are.
Well, hear this…
MY FRIENDS ARE TRASH AND I AM HERE TO PROVE IT!
Judge, Ladies & Gentleman of the Upstanding Areas of the World, I present to you!
4.5 REASONS WHY MY FRIENDS ARE TRIZZASH
…I could give more but we’d be here all day.
Lettuce begin.
NUMBER ONE! : They Don’t Respect me.
IMAGINE! My mother took her good nine months, spent it running around with this to be upstanding young man in society.
Came up with such a beautifully unique name meaning Child of GOD! (reference: my mother)
ONLYYYYYYYY for my Trash Friends to now not use that beautiful name but out here calling me disrespectful terms such as “Satan” & “Hoe”
NOT ONLY in private BUT in public!
Imagine waking up in the morning from your beautiful Caucasian Rest to these kinda messages:
[Exhibit A]
or
[Exhibit B]
Yes, This has become my life your honor, they clearly do no- (*breaks down in cacuasian tears*)
I’m sorry….
(*sniffles*) ….they do not respect me your honor.
NUMBER TWO! : They Be LYINNNNGGGGG.
So Judge,
Numerous times I’ve been out,
sitting,
chilling,
being my best upstanding self.
THEN BOOM
SIN!
In the form of my Trash Friends.
[Exhibit A]
They also BEEN known that my shoe grips aren’t that strong like they used to be so I’m prone to falling sometimes and it may end up like this:
[Exhibit B]
But the thing is, when I fall I sometimes pull down folks with me because who wants to fall alone right?
*crowd agrees*
They be KNOWING these situations AND STILL when the videos/ photos appear online you know what they do?
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY DO YOUR HONOR?!
My Trash Friends Call me Names… Spread Propaganda and Lies under my comments and tell people how I, Upstanding Chav is once again a sket/hoe.
They being lying on my name your honor.
NUMBER THREE! : They don’t listen unto me.
Your honor…
I have spent countless nights and hours helping my trash friends, giving advice and all that.
ONLYYYYYYYYYYYYYY For them not to listen to me and do THE COMPLETE OPPOSITE.
Let me give you a scenario.
I love Instagram, Instagram is fun for me.
I also love planning out my feed to make sure it looks coordinated and I do help my friends with this also.
THEEE OTHER NIGHT.
Your honor I spent UMPTEENTH Hours helping one of my trash friends with her feed.
I said send me your best photos, lets figure your feed out.
She sent me them your honor, I was pleased.
So we planned her feed based on those images and she posted the first photo, PERFECT!
TELL ME WHY.
After she posts it, a few hours she waltz in my whatsapp with a new BOMBBBB image that could have been the first photo…
……..
…..Your honor…. WHEW I rest this point.
They don’t listen to me.
NUMBER FOUR! : They aren’t here for me when I need them!
Like…. Who does that?
Your honor, Imagine Numerous Carnivals have approached and as usual we have been hyped about it.
We as in My trash friends and I ..
BUT TELL ME WHY… when it’s time to go they’re telling me they’ve got work and can’t get time off..
WE ARE SUPPOSE TO BE CATCHING FLIGHTS NOT FEELINGS BUT YOUUUUU GOT WORK?!
Who am I gonna take shots and get drunk with?!
Who’s gonna take my outfit pics?!
WHO AM I GONNA SHOUT FAM A LAY LAY LAY LAY LAY WITH?!
THIS ISN’T ABOUT YOU ALONE!
So your honor, not only are they Selfish but they aren’t here for me when I need them.
NUMBER FOUR.5 : Your honor, some of them leave chicken on the bones and say they’re done and that honestly stresses me out …
Numerous times I’ve been out with my trash friends and we’re eating chicken…
TELL ME WHY I”M HEARING
I’m done!
But the chicken still staring and squawking at me on the bone…
There’s enough chicken left on the bone to make chicken pasta for half a Private Ryan fete!
Your honor…
This not only tells me that they don’t value their money BUT that they don’t value nice things.
AND I AM NICE THINGS.
IN CONCLUSION.
Your honor, I am of the belief… That my friends are INDEED trash.
…
*5 SECOND RECESS*
…….
Judge: All evidence reviewed, do you wish to start the process of replacing these friends?
NEW FRIENDS?????
…OH hell nah, that’s not what this is about, I was just saying they’re trash.
Dassit.
Ya’ll thought I wanted to replace? No no no, I’m just saying I need to add to my friends list so I got folks who won’t stress me out with the above points, duh.
Based on a true story.
My true story.
Love y’all, bye.
Chavy
Chavdakid - Content Creator & Culture Curator 